AT/T NEEDS A COCKPUNCH

EKU Pils — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 22:50:14 +0000

We don’t know whether to cockpunch former CEO Stan Sigman of Cingular or the new douchebag CEO, Randall Stephenson of AT&T for their shit ass service they provide. I’m sure many Americans like paying $100+/month for a cell/data plan and not be able to use it because some dumb shit CEO can’t do his homework on what the data capacities on his company are. Now they want to sit around and blame Apple for their short comings on delivering a strong signal via cell phones. Maybe your former CEO who made the deal with Apple should’ve of looked into the company’s data capacity, either way you both need a cockpunch from you customers.

To top this off, the weasel Randall Stephenson is throwing out threats to concerned customers who are emailing his about the shitty service they’re paying for. For the full article on this, click here.

RHAPSODY NEEDS A COCKPUNCH

EKU Pils — Sun, 23 May 2010 21:56:36 +0000

Rhapsody needs a cockpunch for advertising unlimited downloads for $10/month. These corporate smucks always make the big advertising picture look good but when you get into the fine print, you realize differently. First off, because of DRM – digital rights management, the songs can’t be played on Apple products since Apple has their own proprietary digital rights management going on. The worst part of this deal is that for people who do own other MP3 players other than Apple MP3 players, the songs that are downloaded aren’t actually theirs. If you cancel your subscription, the songs that were downloaded in the past will no longer be available to you. So, F you Rhapsody, put the fine print in your advertisments and quit trying to make the deal look so good. A cockpunch for a Cockbag company.

Kuchar nominated for C-punch

EKU Pils — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 12:50:34 +0000

I was told a story by a friend of mine about an offering to caddie for Matt Kuchar (professional golfer) back in the days. They were holding a golf tournament in the area and Stults-z had this cool opportunity to not only walk a fine course, but also carry Kuchar’s oversized golf bag for 18 holes. Apparently is was a miserable 90 degrees out, lugging around Kuchars tool’s for the game, and at the end of the tournament Kuchar tipped Stults’-z only TEN DOLLARS!

Now we’re no math geniuses over here but according to the brain calculator, that’s about 55.5 cents per hole. I think Stults’z should have chubbed him in the groin right then and there with that tight ass caddy tip!

So here’s to you Kuchar, a slap to the sac for ya!

Glenn Beck Cockpunched

EKU Pils — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 22:41:43 +0000

We don’t need to write anything on this, it’s evident that he needs one for too many reasons to list.

Angry White Boy cockpunch

EKU Pils — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 20:16:15 +0000

This blog (angrywhiteboy.org), if that’s what you wanna call it, is for sure a targeted area for a cockpunch. Here we have some “Angry White Girl” conservative blog that likes to get into political battles about anything and everything. Some of the content over on their poorly designed blog starts to remind you of a Glenn Beck script. We all know who Glenn Beck is, the bleached hair, preachy, cries on his ring wing show, and empowers the show by throwing a lot of dellusional fear soaked information out to the public.

We digress though back to the topic at cockpunches.com. You can waste your time reading this sidewinder filth that really has a terrible blog name, although we will give him 2 cents for his marketing efforts. So here’s to you “Angry White Boy”, a cockpunch for your shitty blog.

Since we just found additional twitter posts about “How to stop NPR”, posted by D. Turkette, maybe two or three punches to your sac are in order.

Why does Miller Light need a cockpunch?

EKU Pils — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 16:52:04 +0000

Here’s why, because they claim to be a triple hopped beer but it still tastes of water. Suggestion, drink a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, a Dogfish Head 60 or 90 minute or perhaps a Hop Wallop from Victory Brewing Company out of Downington, PA. Miller Brewing, or MillerCoors which merged on July 1st of 08′ needs a sac pounder for advertising that their beer is triple hopped. Can’t taste the hops, must be barley water.